What a retiree learned from a second career as a coach

Michael Lee had already retired when he unexpectedly stumbled onto a second career: coaching local executives at large multinational corporations in China.

He had spent more than three decades at DuPont and Honeywell, plus a year helping a Chinese tech company expand overseas. He uses all that experience in his current job.

“I work with pretty senior executives—GMs, VPs,” he says. “I have clients in luxury retail, at industrial companies, and in the automotive sector, so I don’t specialize in a particular industry.”

Despite the breadth of his client base, most people come seeking help in several common areas. Strategic thinking, communications, empowerment, and delegation are at the top of the list.

Lee says these are closely related. “Clients say, ‘How can I improve my communications with my peers, my boss, my direct reports?’”

Bosses tend to communicate by giving orders that subordinates are expected to carry out. “There’s a top-down culture in China and some other Asian countries, and that’s the root cause of why many Chinese leaders don’t have strategic thinking: they’ve never been asked to think. They just follow instructions. Strategic thinking is the boss’s job.”

What is talent, anyway?

“When people want to talk about talent development or talent management, I’m almost tempted to say, ‘Define what you mean by talent,’” Lee says. “Especially in China, lots of managers define talent as, ‘Whoever works hard, follows my orders, doesn’t challenge me, and executes well, that person is talented.’”

Lee says he has seen small pockets of more Western-oriented thinking emerge during his time as a coach. “Sometimes people are valued when they have fresh ideas, are good at collaborating with other team members, and execute well. Unfortunately, that way of thinking about talent is probably a minority view in China. If a subordinate has a different idea, a traditional boss might wonder, ‘Are you challenging me?’”

Most clients come to him with a particular challenge. For example, a senior director from a major international sporting goods brand told Lee, “My boss has consistently told me that I need to improve my strategic thinking. But I don't know what he means.”

The executive went on, “I work very hard, give each of my team members clear directions and deadlines, follow through, and monitor their progress closely. I’m not sure what my boss means when he says I’m not strategic enough.”

Lee said to him, “In your career, or your life, has anyone ever described to you a future, a dream, or a vision that excited you so much it gave you goosebumps?”

The client was silent for a minute. Then he said, “Yes.  About 10 years ago, we had a team-building activity. People were sitting around the table chatting. Suddenly, my boss said, ‘You know, we really need to think about bringing the NCAA college basketball March Madness concept to China.’ [March Madness is an extremely popular men’s college basketball tournament in the US and highly relevant for a sports brand.]

“When my boss said that, it was as if everyone at the table was hit by lightning. Everyone started to brainstorm what that idea might look like. Some people talked into the night because they were so jazzed up.”

Then Michael asked the client, “Did your boss give you a detailed plan, or detailed instructions for how to make it happen?”

“No,” the client said. “The boss just sketched out a vision, and that got everyone thinking about how to execute it.”

That was the key, Michael explained to the client. “You want to paint a picture of your team’s future, where you want to take the team. If you’re giving them instructions, which they then scramble to execute, you’ve taken away the ‘How.’ More importantly, you’ve taken your people’s ability to create the ‘How’ to achieve that dream vision.”

“What do you think?”  

Working regularly with senior talent has given Lee an opportunity to observe patterns of behavior, some of them less than helpful, in the corporate world.

“One thing companies need to improve is their approach to directive leadership,” Lee says. “For example, a direct report will come to the boss with a problem. The Chinese boss feels that he or she is supposed to have all the answers, and so they will say, ‘Here’s what you do: follow Steps 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.’”

“After that, everyone comes to the boss for answers. Bosses spend all day telling people what to do. Then they go home and answer emails all night. They tell me, ‘I’m losing control of my time and my life.’”

“I ask if they’ve simply tried asking people, ‘What do you think?’ Some of them are stunned by this. They say, ‘No, I don’t ask what they think. I’m supposed to have the answer!’ I say, ‘Yes, and you probably do have some answers. But you should give people the opportunity to use their brains.’ They say, ‘But that will take too long.’ And I respond; ‘Give it a try.’”

Recently, Lee says, he gave this advice to one of the executives he was coaching. A week later, he received a text message saying, “Michael, these four words are magic! ‘What do you think?’”

It turned out that people had some pretty good ideas, the executive told Michael. “Now,” she said, “I have more time because people come up with answers themselves. I can add some points to their solutions, but I’ve regained control over my time and my life.”

Maybe best of all, Lee observes, “People feel like, ‘Hey, the boss actually cares about what I think.’ That can be very powerful.”

The Trust Equation

Based on repeated observations, Lee shares another bit of advice: ultimately, trust is the bedrock of success. If you don’t have enough trust in a relationship, there’s very little potential for negotiation or shared solutions.

Lee uses what he calls ‘The Trust Equation’: Trust = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-Orientation.

“Credibility: Do you know your subject? Are you a bona fide expert?” says Lee. “Reliability: Do you deliver on time at a quality level that meets expectations? Intimacy means, ‘Do I like this person? Do I feel safe with him or her?’”

Self-orientation is the denominator, rather than just a fourth element. If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about the issue from their point of view, they will trust you more.

“If the denominator, self-orientation, is a big number, meaning you only think about the issue from your own point of view, then trust goes down,” Lee says. “If you think about the issue from the other person’s point of view as well as your own, the self-orientation value becomes smaller, and the trust level goes up.”  

That makes self-orientation the most important element in the equation. “We should practice putting ourselves in the other person's shoes to develop trust. If we do, we will ultimately become more influential, and more effective in managing conflict and communicating strategically.”